Dear Yesterday Tracy,
It appears that you, in your wisdom, decided to take NyQuill at 11:30 in the PM. Um, if you forget to take it until that late, then you just don’t get to have it and you have to suffer. I am now NyQuill-hungover after only 4 hours of sleep, and that is your fault, ma’am! So I’m going to now go eat a trash bag full of tacos while you think about what you’ve done.
Sincerely,
Today Tracy
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Dear Yesterday Tracy,
Did you seriously agree to drive down to South Carolina to visit friends? Were you not paying attention last month when we were down in that trash-State and I made that passionate speech about how I would never again return to that purgatory of pot-hole roads and intersections that make zero-freaking-sense until I was reimbursed for the tire that their busted roads ate? And you just caved like a chump and said we would go back? How dare you! They owe us a tire and an alignment and….and…. <<mumbles about trash-State made of potholes and disappointments>>
Sincerely,
Today Tracy
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Dear Yesterday Tracy,
Hey, um…….so after you took all that NyQuill last night, did you then order a bunch of random junk from China? Because according to our email confirmations, you ordered a shake weight, the best of Lionel Richie, a collection of mismatched Lego superheroes, and a giant shark onesie. What……..just, what…… honest to God Tracy, what are you planning with those items? I’m genuinely a little bit scared.
You cannot get sick anymore, because we can’t afford the online shopping you do while under the influence of cold medicine. Also, our credit cards are no longer saved for quick ordering, because you are NOT an adult and you clearly cannot be trusted with such luxuries as one-touch quick ordering.
Sincerely,
Today Tracy
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for a rainy day 
Nyquil is the devil! The worst hangover that I’ve had was from Nyquil.