for a rainy day

That Time I Made A Mary Kay Lady Cry

Mary Kay lady: “Now we are going to find everyone’s perfect skin tone color! Let’s start with you.”


Me: “I can just pass on that part. It’s fine.”

MK lady: “Nonsense! Don’t you want to find that perfect shade of foundation that will compliment your skin tone?”

Me: “That sounds lovely, but it’s just not possible. I have this weird vampire skin and there isn’t a match.”

MK lady: <<looking confused>>

Me: “But it’s fine! I can just skip that part.”

MK lady: “Don’t be silly. There is a product for everybody. I can match anybody’s tone.”


*****20 grueling, painful minutes later. My albino cheek is red from testing out makeup and wiping it off in disappointment*****


Me: “Ummmmm…. I’m really fine if you want to just move on and help everyone else.”

MK Lady: <<visibly sweating and wiping away a nervous tear>> “No, there has to be one that works. Did we try…”

Me: “Yeah, we tried them all.”

MK Lady: “But… but we have something for… <small sob> everyone!”

Me: <<feeling bad for destroying this woman’s world>> “It’s really okay. Look, it’s not your fault. God gave me the skin of an albino snow monster and we all have to find a way to be okay with that.”

MK Lady: “But maybe if I mix it with…”

Me: <<laying a comforting hand on her shoulder>> “I think maybe you just have to give up.”

MK Lady: <<nodding and whimpering>> “Okay.”

Me: “Do you need a hug?”

MK Lady: <<nodding>>


Me: “Do you need a drink?”

MK Lady: <<also nodding>>

This has to stop. Nobody invite me to any more Mary Kay parties. I can’t be responsible for the shattered dreams or mascara tears of any more consultants. Because some of us just aren’t meant for those parties…


This entry was published on January 30, 2017 at 5:47 pm. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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