Mary Kay lady: “Now we are going to find everyone’s perfect skin tone color! Let’s start with you.”
Me: “I can just pass on that part. It’s fine.”
MK lady: “Nonsense! Don’t you want to find that perfect shade of foundation that will compliment your skin tone?”
Me: “That sounds lovely, but it’s just not possible. I have this weird vampire skin and there isn’t a match.”
MK lady: <<looking confused>>
Me: “But it’s fine! I can just skip that part.”
MK lady: “Don’t be silly. There is a product for everybody. I can match anybody’s tone.”
*****20 grueling, painful minutes later. My albino cheek is red from testing out makeup and wiping it off in disappointment*****
Me: “Ummmmm…. I’m really fine if you want to just move on and help everyone else.”
MK Lady: <<visibly sweating and wiping away a nervous tear>> “No, there has to be one that works. Did we try…”
Me: “Yeah, we tried them all.”
MK Lady: “But… but we have something for… <small sob> everyone!”
Me: <<feeling bad for destroying this woman’s world>> “It’s really okay. Look, it’s not your fault. God gave me the skin of an albino snow monster and we all have to find a way to be okay with that.”
MK Lady: “But maybe if I mix it with…”
Me: <<laying a comforting hand on her shoulder>> “I think maybe you just have to give up.”
MK Lady: <<nodding and whimpering>> “Okay.”
Me: “Do you need a hug?”
MK Lady: <<nodding>>
Me: “Do you need a drink?”
MK Lady: <<also nodding>>
This has to stop. Nobody invite me to any more Mary Kay parties. I can’t be responsible for the shattered dreams or mascara tears of any more consultants. Because some of us just aren’t meant for those parties…
for a rainy day 