for a rainy day

That Time I Made A Mary Kay Lady Cry

Mary Kay lady: “Now we are going to find everyone’s perfect skin tone color! Let’s start with you.”

pale-skin

Me: “I can just pass on that part. It’s fine.”

MK lady: “Nonsense! Don’t you want to find that perfect shade of foundation that will compliment your skin tone?”

Me: “That sounds lovely, but it’s just not possible. I have this weird vampire skin and there isn’t a match.”

MK lady: <<looking confused>>

Me: “But it’s fine! I can just skip that part.”

MK lady: “Don’t be silly. There is a product for everybody. I can match anybody’s tone.”

vampire-it-crowd

*****20 grueling, painful minutes later. My albino cheek is red from testing out makeup and wiping it off in disappointment*****

uncomfortable

Me: “Ummmmm…. I’m really fine if you want to just move on and help everyone else.”

MK Lady: <<visibly sweating and wiping away a nervous tear>> “No, there has to be one that works. Did we try…”

Me: “Yeah, we tried them all.”

MK Lady: “But… but we have something for… <small sob> everyone!”

Me: <<feeling bad for destroying this woman’s world>> “It’s really okay. Look, it’s not your fault. God gave me the skin of an albino snow monster and we all have to find a way to be okay with that.”

MK Lady: “But maybe if I mix it with…”

Me: <<laying a comforting hand on her shoulder>> “I think maybe you just have to give up.”

MK Lady: <<nodding and whimpering>> “Okay.”

Me: “Do you need a hug?”

MK Lady: <<nodding>>

comforting-liz-lemon

Me: “Do you need a drink?”

MK Lady: <<also nodding>>

This has to stop. Nobody invite me to any more Mary Kay parties. I can’t be responsible for the shattered dreams or mascara tears of any more consultants. Because some of us just aren’t meant for those parties…

irish-girl-tanning

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This entry was published on January 30, 2017 at 5:47 pm. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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