Galentine’s Day is a tradition.
Every year my lovely friends Holly, Sara and I get together and eat garbage food, watch sappy movies and pay each other compliments all weekend.
It is wonderful and you are all invited next year.
But this year things went wrong and here’s why…
We decided to watch Gone Girl…because romance. Have you ever seen Gone Girl? It’s really good, but also horribly disturbing. After you watch it you need one of those therapy dolls to point out all the bad places that it touched you.
That is the movie that we are watching on this Galentins’s Day.
Now, I’ve already seen it but Sara and Holly haven’t, so I’m watching them watch this movie, because how often can you watch 2 of your best friends become emotionally scarred? And because they didn’t listen to me when I warned them that they were going to be traumatized, I blogged it! YOU ARE WELCOME! Behold:
Holly: “Let’s watch Gone Girl!”
Tracy: “Hey, that’s a super bad idea, friend.”
Holly: “I’ve never seen it.”
Sara: “Me neither.”
Tracy: “I’ve seen it. It’s a great movie, but it also ruins your life a super lot.”
Holly: “It’ll be great.”
Sara: “Sure, why not! I can take it.”
Tracy: “No really, it’s one of those movies that touches the no-no places in your brain. It’s a mind-f**ker.”
Holly: “Let’s do it!”
***3 hours later***
Holly: “What the hell just happened?”
Sara: “I wasn’t ready for that.”
Holly: “I can’t even wrap my mind around what I just saw.”
Sara: “I–I don’t feel safe.”
Tracy: “Wow, if only someone had warned you that this movie molests your mind.”
Sara: “People are sick.”
Holly: “I need a cookie.”
Sara: “Who would even think of something like that?”
Holly: “I can’t unsee it.”
Sara: “Somebody needs to stay with me tonight.”
Holly: “I don’t feel right inside.”
Tracy: “Happy Valentine’s Day! And God bless us everyone!”