The week after a long break is hard. Is that right? Wait, I think what I meant to say was the days in between weekends are hard. Yes, that is what I meant!

Last week was a short week for Thanksgiving and so adjusting back to what people refer to as a “normal schedule” is somewhat of a difficulty. I really enjoyed that 3 day work week, followed by a 4 day weekend. Who do we talk to about making that permanent because I will get the petition rolling!

Disclaimer: before we proceed I need to make a statement. I love my job, for reals, it’s great. The following should not be applied to my current employment situation. Just work weeks in general and how they hurt.

I had a revelation this week, lying in bed Monday morning trying to rationalize a reason to hit snooze for an 8th time it just hit me: I’ve found that the 5 day work week actually lines up perfectly with the 5 stages of grief. Here, allow me and Alec Baldwin to explain:

MONDAY

Mondays are hard.

Yesterday you owned 24 hours of the day, but today 8 of those hours are rented out and they are just gone. So after struggling to remember how to get out of bed, you wobble back into your routine…

and head off to work. At work, you’ll probably run in to one of these people:

Mondays are just about surviving and watching the clock. It’s the hardest day of the week. It just is! We have to let go of the glory of the weekend and restart the weekly cycle. That’s hard for some people to do, which is why sick days were invented. We all know you aren’t sick.

“Oh, you can’t come in today?”

“No, I’m sick”

Sick=I’m not ready to let go of my weekend yet…Denial.

Tuesday

The first few moments of Tuesday are harder than Monday, because you’re still tired from the day before.

Tuesday I’m not even trying. I get “ready” and then put on an ensemble that I have deemed “Comfy-Professional”. It’s a term I made up after college that hasn’t quite caught on yet, but it will. “Comfy-Professional” translates to “mildly acceptable”, or “borderline work-appropriate”. It technically can pass in a business casual environment, but it also allows me to curl up in my comfy chair at my desk. “Comfy-Professional”: it’s gonna be a thing!

Tuesdays are also long because you’re tired.  They are also usually full of technical difficulties. I have voted this day “Most Likely To Contain Major Computer Malfunctions”, though Friday at 4:55pm was a close second. It’s the day that 8 hours feel like 14 because time magically stops moving.

Tuesday is also the day that you are almost guaranteed to forget what day it is and then have the horrible realization of “Oh seriously, it’s only Tuesday!!!”

Hence…

By the time I get off work I am done with this day and I would like a new one please. After all,

Wednesday-

I know you are all expecting me to put a gif here of the Hump Day Camel, but I will not do it. I will not! You guys killed it. You beat it to death within the first 2 weeks and now I never want to see it again. Are you proud of yourselves? Now that camel is on the Island of Misfit Mascots with the Sexual Harrassment Panda and his cousin the Marlboro Camel.

Now, the chastising is done. Do you need a hug before we move on? It’ll be okay friends.

Okay, back to camel-free Wednesday. What should be a day of sadness because it’s smack in the middle of the week is instead triumphant, for we have conquered the first half of the week, and we stand on top of the mountain knowing that the rest will be easier…or so we convince ourselves (bargaining). If the week was a story than Wednesday is the midway point where you would have made it through the plot and conflict, now all that is left is resolution and happily ever…unless Quentin Tarantino is writing the story…

So celebrate a little bit. You deserve it, because…

Thursday-

Blah, Thursday.

Thursday is like limbo: you are so close to the good stuff, and yet so far away. You made the mistake of celebrating yesterday and now you regret it because there is just soooo much week left!

Today you really have to give yourself a pep talk to get out of bed.

Thursday. Statistically speaking it’s probably raining (based on a statistic I made up for this point). You have a list of things that need to get done but zero ambition to actually do them. And so you’re beautiful ambitions for the week lay crumbled at your feet…put off for next week. Of course, with that procrastination comes the subtle guilt because you know you have time to get that stuff done but Thursdays are simply not conducive to productivity. Ahhhh, I’m so overwhelmed!

Friday-

Oh happy day! Friday almost doesn’t count as a day of the week, because though you are hard at work until lunchtime, after that break the day just turns in to getting a bit of work done between watching the minutes on the clock tick away. Friday is a day for mentally planning those 2 glorious days of weekend about to come your way. Personally, I like to make lists because my memory sucks, so that I will have a reference for what needs to get done. (This list also allows me the opportunity Monday to realize I got none of it done, but instead took a nap).

And as soon as that work day is over…

 

So there you have it, the 5 stages of the week.

03 Dec This entry was published on December 3, 2013 at 8:22 pm. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged acceptance, anger, bargaining, denial, depression, friday, monday, thursday, tuesday, wednesday, week. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.