Sunday is a holy day. It is the Sabbath and I believe in keeping it holy—–But this morning I’m laying in bed and I’m behind schedule.
My roommate is in the next room laughing at my weekend, every once in a while opening the door to remind me that I’m not in an underground bunker and that life is in fact carrying on outside my room.
Yesterday I had all kinds of distractions and valid reasons to leave the house that I hadn’t anticipated so I have 5 of the longest movies in the world to get through today. But I’m not a quitter (all laying in bed for an entire weekend jokes aside) so I will finish.
Movie #4-Goblet of Fire
- I put in movie #4, my first movie of the day, and of course…Quidditch. Is someone somewhere getting a commission for every minute of screen time that thing gets?
- It is interesting to me that when attacks and/or catastrophes occur every character runs one way and Harry & entourage run the other. “Hmmmm, all the people who are going to be safe are going right…that’s tempting but—no, better go left.”
- I guess this is the movie where everyone unanimously decided to rock 70’s hair.
- More inventions we should be funding show up! A bowl that shows extracted memories, that is good stuff. Wish J.K. Rowling had decided to be a scientist instead of a writer. This would solve so many problems. Alzheimers? Who cares, I’ve got all the good stuff stored away over in that bowl.
- The dance in this movie made me uncomfortable. Thanks for letting me relive the awkward High School and Middle School years, missed that angst-filled time of wonder (said no adult ever).
- I freakin love Snape. Tangent time: are there any Jane Austen fans out there? If there are then you remember him from Sense and Sensibilty, where he played yet another character that I just want to give a hug and tell him it’s going to be alright. The best parts of these movies are Snape an Sirius…that sounds like a spin off…and J.K. did just announce she’s writing another book—-might I suggest Hogwarts the early years, where we watch the adorable high jinks of Snape and Sirius (still played by Alan Rickman and Gary Oldman, just in pre-puberty jumpers and school uniforms. I was joking at first, but the longer I wrote that the more convinced I am that it’s gold)
- Thank you R.Patt for giving the most uncomfortable clue ever (‘have you taken your egg up to the 3rd floor bathroom?’ <awkwardly leans in to whisper>…’maybe get in the tub?’). You can’t un-hear that.
- That’s not what mermaids are supposed to look like. Didn’t we already go over this with the werewolves? Was there no Disney in England? Come on people, everyone knows mermaids look like this:
- Hey look, Dr. Who is a Death Eater. I wonder if this is before or after he travels through time? (confession: I’ve never watched Dr. Who so I’m not confident that any of that statement is correct)
- I rewound this part like 3 times because Snape makes me smile:
- Oh Snape, you adorable little misunderstood wizard. I would never lie to you Peanut.
- First sighting of creepy baby Voldermort, all shriveled and evil being carried around by his henchmen. There’s a better way to do that:
- And then something happened that actually made me yell at the TV. In the wizard-off, or whatever you call it when 2 guys fight with wands, THE COLORS ARE WRONG. Voldermort’s light beam is green and Harry’s is red. If Star Wars has taught us anything it’s that those should be reversed. non-negotiable.
- So Robert Pattinson dies, and teenage girls everywhere weep and boycott. But don’t be sad ladies, that’s how he became a vampire. He’ll come back, and this time he’ll glitter!
Movie #5-Order of the Phoenix
I’m not worried about spoilers because I should have been the last person in the world to see these. And if you haven’t seen them for some reason, stop reading this and go lock yourself in a room for 3 days…it’s healthy!
- I feel the need to mention that Gilmore Girls is playing in the next room and the combination of that dialogue mixed with this visual is phenomenal!
- This made me happy:
- I like to imagine that if people never changed after High School that this would be the AFTER for this BEFORE picture:
- Enter Helena Bonham Carter, you fantastic weirdo. I like to imagine that she is actually like this in real life, which I believer could be a possibility since she and Tim Burton are together.
- “Dumbledore’s got style”
- Sirius dies…and I actually considered stopping the marathon. Yes, I knew it was coming, but it still hurt me. It hurt because all movies and all scenes should have Gary Oldman in them…proven fact. Scenes with Gary Oldman in them are 94.7% more enjoyed by audiences, based on a statistic I made up for this post.
- Maybe Harry’s not as good as Dumbledore at wizarding (word or no?) because he’s wearing the wrong clothes. Clearly the robe is more conducive to magic than the sweatshirt. Actually, I can personally attest to that as I frequently wear sweats and am very infrequently capable of magical powers.
- Holy crap, these things get better as they go. Better graphics, story, acting, effects, plot, etc. Good for you Hollywood!
- Random clip montage of Voldermort as he hacks into Harry’s mind=looks just like a Vogue fashion show. I literally rewound it over and over and played different songs with it until I found the perfect fit. I found that Material Girl was the song made for this scene…please enjoy:
***please play the audio from Material Girl and play the second video on mute–keep hitting replay until the song is over, trust me!***
- Who are all these people at Hogwarts who don’t appear to be wizards? Like the attendants at the train station and the guys who unload bags at the school. Are they like wizards who did poorly in school? Is that like the equivalent of our working at McDonalds?
Movie #6-The Half Blood Prince
- Spoiler alert, it’s Snape. Snape is the Half Blood Prince. This was actually a surprise to me because my memory sucks and I forgot, so I got to try to guess just like it was my very first time.
- I love how awkward Ron is. That’s it, nothing to accompany it…it just makes me smile.
- Snogging is a word that should be used much, much more. Come on America, let’s steal it because it’s wonderful. Try to work it naturally into a conversation–I dare you.
- “She has nice skin”; what a great compliment.
- Dumbledore dying makes me sad, so to cheer myself up I rewound it and watched it in reverse—–In reverse Dumbledore flies up the tower, repels the spell and everyone runs away. Much better. But alas, that isn’t how it happens because from here on out this is Game of Thrones and all your favorite people are probably going to die.
Move #7- Deathly Hallows part 1
- The new minister of magic (for like a second before he dies or gets fired or whatever) looks super familiar, and it took me a few minutes to place him but when I did it was a happy moment in my life. He is the stepdad from Shaun if the Dead, Philip. Oh Philip, he drew the casting short straw again.
- This movie is apparently set in Nazi Germany, or so all the propaganda and red makes it look.
- I don’t have much to say about this movie. It’s just a lot of camping. Is there this much camping in the book or was that just drawn out to make the movie long enough to split in 2? I’m really glad I waited until they all came out to watch because if I had been left with that cliffhanger I would have been sad.
So we move on to the last movie, which holds all the action.
I feel it appropriate at this moment to mention that I have been in this room for over 2 days and well, the transition has not been pretty. See for yourselves the progression that has occurred to my person.
These also served as my proof-of-life photos to my family during the process (calls were not accepted).
Movie #8- Deathly Hallows part 2
- I didn’t realize that Maggie Smith had cancer when she was filming this movie.
- I think that is incredible. No joke here. She is amazing. I have loved that women since I was little and I saw The Secret Garden, and she just gets better. Not to mention all of this goodness of her in Downton Abbey:
Okay, serious moment over, thank you for bearing with me.
- Neville Longbottom, winner of most improved!
- Good for you Neville, for winning at life—–hang on, just want to look at the picture for one more second….done. Take heart children in your awkward stage, it indeed gets better!
- I just realized that the smoke monster on LOST was a Death Eater. Now that show makes sense.
- Hogwarts: Hoarders Edition. This is the episode where the teachers bring the headmaster into the storage room of things forgotten and ask him to get rid of items one by one…step by step.
***if you get that reference, you are better than most people and you should be proud of yourself***
- I freakin love Snape. It’s already been said but it bears repeating. His memory/flashback scene is the sweetest/saddest thing ever. I want to give him a hug all over again.
- Voldermort hugs! Because he’s evil, but he still cares!
- Well, the school blew up so I guess nobody graduated. Enjoy your wizard G.E.D.!
I am done! 3 days well spent. I’ve eaten my body weight in starch and cookies, and I feel good about that fact (not physically of course, but spiritually I’m okay with it. Gluttony be damned!). It was fun…really, truly fun! So the lesson here (if I can try to force one) is that there is nothing that 3 days of solid movie watching and a steady diet of junk food can’t heal. Wait, that’s a terrible lesson, don’t listen to that. There is no lesson here, it was just super fun and I regret nothing. Thanks for taking this journey with me!