for a rainy day

My Dream Said Everything Is Your Fault

Do you ever have a nightmare that feels SO REAL, that you actually wake up mad?

Because sometimes I do….

Me: <waking up terrified…… and then angry………then dialing the phone, also angrily>

Him: <answering phone a bit rudely> “It’s 5am. Are you hurt or dying?”

Me: “I had a dream, and you were in it. And HOW DARE YOU!”

Him: “Nope, start over.”

Me: “I would like you to know that in this dream I just had that there was a giant python in my house. And I called you in the dream and you wouldn’t come over to help me get it out.”

Him: “Okay…… so why are you mad?”

Me: “Are you not listening?!? You abandoned me to get murdered by the snake!”

Him: “Okay, first of all: NO. You had a dream. Do I really have to explain the difference between real things and dreams?”

Me: “I have to say, dream-you was kind of being a jerk about the whole thing.”

Him: “Oh yeah? What did I say?”

Me: “You told me that the snake lived there now so I should just leave him alone because I was being a bad roommate.”

Him: “Well, that sounds like pretty good advice. You’re welcome for that.”

Me: “Hmmmmm, you don’t really sound sorry about what you did.”

Him: “That’s probably because I didn’t do anything to you. Because I was asleep. And also because you are a crazy person.”

Me: “You know what, I’m not real happy with the way this conversation is going. I’m going to call back in a few hours when you’re more awake to see if you’re appropriately sorry yet.”

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This entry was published on April 26, 2017 at 7:00 pm. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

4 thoughts on “My Dream Said Everything Is Your Fault

  1. HAHAHA! I just laughed out loud in public while reading this. What an asshole he was! 🙄

  2. The Les Misérables reference 😄

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