[if you’re a guy reading this, then I’m already sorry for this post]

Do you ever have an encounter with another human being that leaves you absolutely baffled? Because what that person is doing does not make any sort of logical sense in the current situation and context?

All that was really just to say that I had an……… encounter…….

I was at Walmart (because that is usually how one of these stories starts). I mean, I’m not saying that every single time you go to Walmart that things are going to get weird… I’m just saying that at least 98% of those times that you go things are absolutely 100% going to get weird, based on a statistic that I just made up to support my point.

So yeah, I was at Walmart. And this random guy ahead of me in the checkout line started flirting with me. But the thing is, this wasn’t exactly a situation where that was appropriate, because….. well, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… how should I phrase this? See, I’m trying to remain classy as I share this story because I’m a lady and I don’t want to be graphic, or as some people have called it, “You can’t say that Tracy, what the hell is wrong with you?” So instead of telling you this story with my pretty-pretty words, I drew you a picture.

So, as I was saying, this guy was flirting with me, and then he actually asked for my number, despite the fact that I had said ZERO words back to him yet. Now, to many people this wouldn’t be considered a strange encounter at all, but let me use my visual aid at this point to illustrate exactly why this was so bizarre:

Aaaaannnnnnndddddd let’s zoom in:

And I looked at this man, and I very eloquently and politely replied, “uuuhhhh, can you not see me?”

And the man continued to flirt and he asked me for my number again, seemingly OBLIVIOUS to the situational trainwreck of a person he was currently speaking to, even though I was holding an armful of warning signs.

And so I stood there, absolutely baffled. 

Sadly I must tell you that no love connection was made that day. Because seriously, what the hell dude? You have got to pay more attention to context clues, sir. So this gentleman and I parted ways, never to meet again. Because he was super weird, and also raw cookie dough is the actual love of my life.

17 Mar This entry was published on March 17, 2017 at 1:49 pm. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged are you serious, cookie dough, dramatization, flirt, humor, inappropriate, period, tampon, uncomfortable, walmart. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.