for a rainy day

Barbie’s Shame Time

Some weeks I’m not sure what to post here. I desperately want to sit down and write a blog post, but nothing worth writing comes to me.

And then other weeks the material just presents itself……….

barbie-dream-bathroom-toilet

I have a lot of feelings about this….. and also a lot of questions…..?

First off, I guess I just really want to ask…………why?

And not just a normal why…………… but like a dear-God-why-in-the-world-does-this-need-to-exist type of why?????

new-girl-bathroom-funny

I mean sure, I understand from the practical perspective of wanting to realistically decorate a doll house….and yet I also still reject that notion 100% completely! Because seriously WHY!!!!!! Why would your doll house ever need to be so perfectly realistic that it requires a Barbie Dream Toilet? What kid is sticking to factual play time so stringently that occasionally their dolls have to take a break from their make believe adventuring to go sit on the toilet for some private shame time? When I was a kid my dollhouse didn’t have a bathroom. Do you know what it DID have? It had a pizza and glitter dream-a-torium which was also the corporate office for Barbie Corp, and it also had a spare bedroom for my pet Bengal tiger. But no bathroom. No Barbie toilet. There were zero toilets in my Barbie Dream House because none of my Barbies had to take a break from saving the world due to IBS.

shame-time-ruxin

But now for the low low price of $9.99 your kids can take time out from all that imagination and playing to spend some make believe time watching Barbie use the bathroom. Because you know what play time just doesn’t have enough of? Make believe toilets breaks and icky bodily functions. 

A Barbie Dream Bathroom? Really? Because I don’t think dreaming is what’s happening in there.

beyonce-bathroom

So once I made my peace with the fact that this thing now actually exists…. [meaning somebody had the idea, pitched that idea for a doll toilet to their superiors, and a board of corporate executives and business professionals said “Yes! Let’s do that!”]…. I thought to myself, “what are people saying about this in the reviews?”

review-c

What is the world coming to when the plastic doll toilet you bought for under $10 doesn’t have functioning plumbing, silver features, or the romantic and whimsical sounds of flushing waters! Just a reminder…. this toilet is for a doll that doesn’t eat food, drink liquids, or actually use a toilet. 

review-a

Oh cool, “adorable” was the word you chose to use there. I myself have never looked at a toilet and thought “adorable.” I have looked at a toilet and thought “I wonder how often that is cleaned” or “that looks like it should be replaced.” Yet never have I seen a toilet and thought, “You’re exquisite, I must paint you.”

This next person, however, is somebody I would like to hang out with:

review-b

I like this person. And I can only imagine that cake looked like this:

barbie-throwing-up

Also, if you have actually purchased this for your kid, I need to borrow it for a cake I’m now making………

Mattel, if you are really that desperate for new products:

colbert-olympics-vault-drill-barbie-13557938230

Happy play time children!

kids-little-girl

This entry was published on February 20, 2017 at 8:11 pm. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

One thought on “Barbie’s Shame Time

  1. HAHA!! I found you via Jenny, and this is hilarious! I too want to hang out with the cake decorator because that shit is funny!

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