for a rainy day
Clueless Alicia Silverstone Cher good driver bad driver I Blame Kindergarten

I Blame Kindergarten

Tracy: “I think I will go outside and get things accomplished today, because the world is a happy, friendly place.”


*****4 hours later, after the world has called my bluff*****



So what happened? People driving is what happened. People driving BADLY is what happened. People consumed with hatred and narcissism and destruction in their heart behind the wheel of a vehicle is what happened!

People are terrible at driving, and I figured out why. It is 100% to blame on kindergarten and the line-leader system.

Do you remember being the line leader for your class? Do you remember that first taste of absolute, corrupting power? When you were handed supreme control of your fellow compatriots and charged with leading them into the wild unknown.



line leader

That was where all the chaos started. That competitive edge and the burning need to get ahead of the rest of the people going to the exact same place at the exact same time, yet lead them by a tenth of a fraction of a second. This is why traffic now exists.

Here, allow me to demonstrate.

You know those times where a car has been in the lane beside you, but behind you for so long, and everything has been perfectly fine and nobody has crashed?


And then suddenly you see that dreaded “lane ends ahead” sign, but it’s for the lane beside you so you just simply carry on with your life because everything is still fine.


But that person in the car behind you is suddenly consumed with hatred and competitive drive, because they refuse to live in a world where anyone is ahead of them, and so they start speeding up, even though there isn’t enough room in their closing lane for them to get ahead of you.

And then, consumed with pure and utter douche-baggery, they quickly jerk the wheel and merge in front of you, forcing you to either slam on your breaks or die.


That is 8000% because they were made the line leader once when they were 6, and they’ve been chasing that rush and control and marginal superiority ever since!


Also, people are monsters when they drive. MONSTERS!


ALSO also, apparently I’ve been spelling the word “kindergarten” wrong my entire life. Until this very moment in time, I genuinely believed with my whole heart that is was spelled “kindergarden.”

Yes….. I am an English major.

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This entry was published on August 3, 2016 at 12:00 am. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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