Dear Santa,
Well, the new Star Wars was perfection!!
And that’s all I’ve been wanting for a year, so…. I guess now I need new things in my life to hope and pray for. Sooooooo, what do I want this year?
1) It would be nice to not be homeless anymore. How much sway do you have in real estate, Santa? Can you ensure that my closing goes smoothly?
2) Also, I want an official Red Rider …..
3) I’d like people to stop playing “My Favorite Things” as a Christmas song. It’s not a Christmas song; it’s from The Sound of Music. You know what else is in The Sound of Music? Nazis. It’s not a Christmas movie. It’s not a Christmas song. Leave it alone.
4) I’d like Donald Trump to go away. I don’t mean politically (there is no political stand being made here), I just mean in general. It’s not funny anymore. It was all kind of amusing during the first season of The Apprentice, but the gag is dead and we should all just move on. Donald Trump is sort of like “Sharknado”; we all thought it was funny in a terrible sort of way, but then it kept coming back and it got sad. I think we learned from the SpyKids franchise that if we collectively ignore something as a people, eventually it goes away.
5) I’d like Facebook to stop suggesting links that they think I would like. No matter how hard you push, I will never want to read about the Kardashians. The other day somebody made a Kardashian joke and I actually said the words: “No, Kourtney and Scott are getting divorced”… Why do I know that, Facebook? I’ve never seen the show. I’ve never clicked on the articles. So you tell me why I know so much about them? Why, Facebook? WHY!!!
6) I’d like my sister and nephews to live closer. I’m not big on leaving the house so it would be super if you could move them back to the Tri-State area. Please call the Air Force and arrange this.
7) I’d like 289 pairs of LulaRoe leggings. They are wonderful and feel like you are wearing a puppy wrapped in a rainbow of happiness.
8) Why isn’t there such a thing as free global wifi yet? Could you make that happen? Nothing would bring peace and joy to the world faster than you eliminating the need for Time Warner Cable. That, sir, is how we accomplish world peace!
9) I want Hogwarts to be real and I’d like them to offer a Grad School program for those of us who have already aged out of the primary school category.
10) Also, I’d like a pony. No, a UNICORN! Please and thank you.
Sincerely,
Tracy
Merry Christmas everyone! I love your faces-
for a rainy day 