I have an english degree…now what?

See, what they don’t tell you when you go off to college all bright eyed and bushy tailed (or whining and being shoved like I did) is that 90% of the majors offered at those schools have very little practical application when you want to translate them into an actual job.

So I went to school to study English because I love to write and want to eventually turn that into a carer.  That’s not super easy, so now I just have a super expensive piece of paper that says I’ve read a lot of books.  

Please, enjoy this song as much as I do:

“You have to go to college so you can get a job”.  4.5 years later…I have the same job I did before school just at a different company.  That’s a wee bit discouraging.  But still, we carry on.

And no, I don’t want to teach.  That’s always the first suggestion I get from people.  There is nothing about my temperament that is conducive to teaching children.  Sure, there would probably be good days, but the second some over-privileged kid complains or gets smart with me:

Luckily I double majored so I have that super useful Biblical Studies degree to fall back on…oh wait, I’m a woman in the south so that degree isn’t getting used.

You’d think I’d at least be good at grammar and what not, but you’d be wrong.  Auto correct and tweets have ruined my ability to type a coherent sentence without help.  Apple products, please hold my hand and walk me through this basic sentence!  No need to remember how to spell anything anymore bc your phone is officially smarter than you.  And no need to express any thought that is longer than 140 characters.  

Of course, I am now fully equipped to write this ridiculous blog, which is restoring my ability to write coherently again.  I’ve always loved to write, but sadly I was born in the generation where everybody believes they are a writer.  Seriously, no longer is being published about being a legitimately talented wordsmith.  Don’ believe me?  Let me just remind you than that Snooki is published.  Can we all just take a moment as a nation to weep that this person…

…is published and that so many people bought what I can only assume is a collection of scratch-and-sniff stickers mixed with jersey slang.

But I’m really enjoying writing this blog.  I will just continue to write here until I get my own reality show, become an internet sensation, or whatever the new standard is now. 

13 Oct This entry was published on October 13, 2013 at 12:09 am. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged degree, english, future, major. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.