I live alone, and let me tell you IT IS AWESOME!!!! My house is a non-negotiable pants free zone and safe haven!
…and now UPS won’t come to my house anymore.
Wait… I left out part of the story.
Okay, once upon a time…. NOPE; that makes it sounds like this story is going to be way classier than it’s actually going to be. Let’s see…
It was late Wednesday eve and Tracy was done talking to people. (Yup, that’s how the story starts. Actually, that’s how most of my stories start, it’s just that sometimes the date changes).
So it was about 8 o’ clock in the pm and I was several hours into my Netflix relationship with Sherlock.
But I knew that I had a package that was supposed to be delivered today, and it was already super late for a delivery. But I decided to get up and just peek out the front door (very sly) to see if maybe I had just been so engrossed in Sherlock that I had missed them, and maybe they had just left it on the porch.
Only to find when I opened the door that the UPS guy was walking up the path. And I made 100% eye contact with this man and physically jumped because I was so startled to see an actual human person there. Oh yeah, and then I slammed the door in his face! That’s right. Because I WASN’T. WEARING. PANTS.
Meanwhile the poor guy is yelling “Hang on, I’m coming,” as he rushes to the already slammed door. And he knocks and waits because he knows very well that there is a person inside. And I’m yelling “hang on!” as I rush to find anything to throw over my very casual lounging “outfit.”
And so I just grabbed a blanket and rushed to the door.
But he was already gone, so I stepped out and grabbed my box, and was just about to go back inside when he appeared again from the townhouse next door where he was making a delivery to my neighbors, who I’m sure were fully clothed and answered the knocking door like well adjusted humans who understand how the mail system and basic interactions in general work.
And I just stood there wrapped in my toga blanket, holding my box while also trying to keep the blanket secured. And I waved. And I said, “I’m so sorry, I promise next time I’ll be better prepared.”
And then I slunk back inside, knowing I couldn’t order things off Amazon ever again. Or at least not until I get a new UPS guy who hasn’t seen me in a half naked toga.